Let’s start with the one nobody had. The Magicians 128.46, Sugar Coats 122.60. Jonathan had lost six straight to John E. going back to 2021, and eighteen of twenty-one lifetime, and on Sunday he put up Amon-Ra St. Brown for 28.7 and Jaxon Smith-Njigba for 26.2 and Stefon Diggs — acquired by trade at 9:36 p.m. on draft night, one minute after he remembered to sign a kicker — for 15.5 in the flex. John E. got 25.1 from Trevor Lawrence and 24.5 from Trey McBride and 3.2 from Ja’Marr Chase, his keeper, the third-most valuable player anyone protected, who was listed questionable with a knee and played like it.

The game is not technically final: Jonathan still has Harrison Butker kicking Monday night. But kickers can’t score negative in this league, so the streak is over. Eighteen and four. Sal Bianchi does not do predictions, but I did say in the preview that he opens against the man who has beaten him eighteen times, and I would like partial credit.

The champion lost

Pla-ket-ket-ket-ket 141.16, Touchdown There 114.64. Sean got 35.3 from Caleb Williams — the pick Marcus’s value board called the single best of the draft — and 32.7 from Ashton Jeanty, and Nick got a fine 32.4 from D’Andre Swift and not much else. Jared Goff, the sixteenth quarterback drafted, gave him 14.4. Nick is now 10-6 in season openers and the series is 13-8. He has lost the opener before. He has also won four titles. I am not reading anything into it and neither should you, and yet.

mike scored 141.60 and lost

Of course he did. The Lowly Gents 145.16, Tomato Heads 141.60. Anthony had the top score in the league this week. mike had the second-highest. They played each other. Marcus tells me 141.60 is the seventh-highest losing score in sixteen years of this league and only the second time mike has ever lost when scoring 140 or more. mike has been to three finals and lost all three, has the worst luck rating in league history, and led the league in points last season. If you are looking for a theme, there it is. Justin Jefferson went for 31.2 and Dallas Goedert — flagged in the grades as Anthony’s one weak spot — went for 23.7, because that is how this works.

Michael, buddy

American Football Team 141.56, Mike’s Merry Mates 65.24. Kenneth Walker still to play Monday; it will not matter. Here is what happened. On Sunday morning at 7:20 a.m., Michael added Baker Mayfield — the same Baker Mayfield Tim drafted at 161 and released ninety seconds after the draft ended — and started him at quarterback over Patrick Mahomes, who plays Monday night. Baker produced 7.6 points. Mahomes is on the bench. Jeff, meanwhile, got 35.3 from Derrick Henry, 32.7 from Josh Allen and 32.7 from Christian Watson and won by seventy-six. Michael is 5-10 in openers and 81-131 lifetime and I have run out of gentle ways to say it.

The rest

Royal Rodents 116.72, Coonie’s Goonies 104.36. Owen got 24.2 from Javonte Williams, 26.0 from Zay Flowers and 21.2 from Nico Collins, and survived a zero from Kyle Pitts — the fourth-round act of faith — because Josh also got a zero from Colston Loveland, his keeper. Series 13-9, Josh. The value board had Owen sixth in the league and everyone laughed. Owen laughed last.

Bijan Mustard 97.90, SKOL MF 94.56 — Timothy leads by 3.34 with the Broncos defense still to play Monday, so this one is almost final. Bijan Robinson went 29.3 for the team named after him. Tim started TreVeyon Henderson, who was listed Out with an ankle, and Brock Bowers, who produced 0.0, while leaving Deebo Samuel (18.0) and Antonio Williams (16.4) on his bench — 51.5 bench points, most in the league this week. Timothy, for what it’s worth, is 11-4 lifetime in season openers, the best in the league, and has one playoff appearance in sixteen years. Peaking early is a lifestyle.

Romo’s Rotisserie 84.40, Pocket Dogs 83.62 — and this one is genuinely wide open. Kevin leads by 0.78 with Bo Nix, Jaylen Waddle and the Chiefs defense still to play; John P. has Rashee Rice and Courtland Sutton going in the same game. Five starters on one Monday night. Kevin got 33.8 from Jalen Coker, the ninth-round pick that drew two poops on draft night. I told you to remember that. John P. got 33.6 from Gibbs and 6.8 from Drake Maye. Whatever happens Monday, one of these men is going to be very annoying about it Tuesday.